Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
