she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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