This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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