OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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