Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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