Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
