So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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