Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
