Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
