Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
