so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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