You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
