that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
