Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize