I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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