What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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