I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
This girl is more easily done than said...
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Randomize
