I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He better not be in your backpack
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
