just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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