butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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