I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
