tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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