you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
