its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
