used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
