my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
