The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
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