she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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