Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
