Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
