He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
