its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
