i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
These tits shall not be calmed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
