After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
