Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
