Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
