hell yes lets make some ravioli
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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