I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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