but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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