S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Im part way to drunk.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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