hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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