Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
