What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
