you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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