Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
