So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
