My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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