I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I AM VODKA MAN
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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