I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
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I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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