There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
