I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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