i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
