It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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