i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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