Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
