happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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