I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
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