Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
